Съвет: Не удряйте Samoa Joe с възглавница!

[nWoHulkster]

Тази история за първи път я чух от shoot interview-то с Chris Daniels & AJ Styles, но преди малко я видях в сайта на Steve Corino и реших да я пусна тук. Спукал съм се да се смея като я чух за първи път и ефекта не е същият като се чете, но какво да се прави. Извод: не се ебавайте със Самоа Джо, Самоа Джо KILLS BITCHES DEAD! Нарочно ще постна цялата статия от сайта на Steve Corino - историите на Corino OWN-ват, един от любимите ми разказвачи на истории от кеча въобще. И така, дълго, но забавно четиво от чудноватия свят на кеча :

Hmmm, where to begin...Maybe the UK PILLOW MASSACRE!

Sometimes I get so busy that I don't get to update the site and Live Journal as much as I want to. It is then when I am usually swamped with good, sometimes even GREAT stories, that I am just itching to put in here.

Since the Great UK Pillow Massacre is such a great story (or at least it was for a few people!) I should tell it first but I will just go in order from Christmas up until sleeping 15 hours today (I think I had the flu, jet lag, or just laziness today).

Christmas was awesome. Saana finally moved to the States on Christmas Eve much to the delight of me and Colby (or is it Colby and I?). Most of the next three weeks was putting new furniture in our house, which can be a real pain in the ass if you don't know what you are doing (which I don't). If I have to go to IKEA one more time I might go postal. If you guys don't have an IKEA or even know what one is let me explain: Its a discount furniture store, huge mind you, and the gimmick is that you put the furniture together yourself. Well, lets just say that Saana nor Colby heard some of the curse words that have never come out of my mouth before. I even surprised myself at times. It didn't help that we got some directions that were just in Swedish! Luckily, Saana speaks and reads Swedish so it wasn't that bad but we bought five things and it took me three weeks to put it all together! I am getting hot just thinking about it! And whats even worse it that we are not done buying from there! A sofa is still on the way and hopefully a noose to hang myself.

But we got some holiday time to spend down with my family in North Carolina, which Colby just loved. My parents have a zoo at their home! I think they have two dogs, three cats, birds, horses, rats, goldfish, you name it they got it! I am not much of a animal lover but Colby and Saana are so I imagine any day now we will be getting a new dog. Nice. I would rather just get her a boyfriend. At least they don't shit on the new carpet.

It was then off to the United Kingdom (a day earlier thanks to Knucklehead Kingdom James) for 1PW. This was the second set of shows for this new company and these were set to be better then the first and they were. Now before I get into the story here is a little note to all promoters-Beware if you book Chris Hamrick, Steve Corino, Al Snow, Bryce, Potter, Keenan, Meanie, etc. in the same hotel!

The first show was packed and it featured guys from TNA and well everywhere else. I wrestled Masato Tanaka the first night and for some reason the music guy hit the JOB Squad music about two minutes early and the fans were screwed out of a finish. Though we made it up the next night (at me and Tanaka's request) I still felt bad that we couldn't give the fans the finish. The 1PW fans are very good and they were awesome to Tanaka (who owes me 5000 Yen because I told him that he would be over with the fans!) and got a crap finish the next night with Fat Head Joe and Tanaka (not anyone's fault, just the way politics work sometimes) so we wanted to give them something extra.

The second night I opened the show with Charlie Haas and had a blast. Even Bret Hart watched our match and put it over. I now take back everything I said about him (hehe). Even though it was announced before the show that Charlie was going back to the WWE, the fans stayed into it and it was fun being in there with him. I wish him all the best back in the WWE and once he quits I hope to work him again (God knows I am never going there!). After the Joe/Tanaka match I ran in and had a five minute battle with Dangan. The fans were rightfully hot about the subbing and were chanting "We want Joe" for two minutes. After the way Tanaka was hitting me I was saying it along side the 1700 strong! But we got them into it and Tanaka hit me with the hardest bitch slap I have ever felt (Not that I have been bitch slapped alot of course) and then followed it up by knocking me silly with the Roaring Elbow.

Now the after show party started at the hotel bar and got ugly quick. I wasn't in the mood to drink and either was my accomplice, I mean buddy, Chris Hamrick so we decided to call Al Snow and see if he wanted to come down to the bar and hang out. Hanging out with Al is always worth a lot of laughs because he has seen it all and finds something funny out of everything. So when Hamrick called Al in his best Tommy Rich voice we could tell that the New Rocker was not going to come down. Then we decided to go up and see him, but armed. Armed with the mighty pillows from my room! Oh yeah, watch out for these guys!!! But Al wouldn't open the door. I guess 22 years in the wrestling industry teach you to never open the door when you have four guys waiting for you. We even got three girls to say dirty things to Al to get him to come out of the room but he wouldn't have anything to do with it. Finally as we are about to leave Al opens the door and throws a bucket of water at Hamrick, who blocks it with his pillow...and face. We left Al's room defeated and needed to get our heat back but how? Hmmmmm, we will knock on doors and beat people with pillows, that's how! But the problem is that everyone was in the hotel bar.

So we came up with a plan to get someone to tell the ring announcer Joe Dumbrowski (I know its spelled different but I like to say dumb when I am talking about him!) that he had a phone call in his room. Somehow Low Ki, who is the biggest heel in the world when it comes to ribs, jumped in as a look out. The signal was when he got up from adjusting his shoe we would attack. The first attack was awesome because poor Joe took a cold, wet pillow right to the face. It was like it stuck to him! I think it even knocked off his glasses!

Once we saw the success of this it was time to make a list of guys to get and of course a list of guys not to get which included Homicide (because even in the UK he was probably packing), Abyss (way too big), Samoa Joe (no sense of humor, hehehe, actually he likes to punch people in the face as a rib and if you ever worked with him you don't even like to get hit with his work punch.), and Bret Hart (which I disagreed with because we would have become Legends by getting The Hitman!). Everyone else was fair game and boy did we get everyone.

After getting Jeff Jarrett, who in turn wanted to help us, we were starting to get tired and pretty much ran out of people to beat but a young UK wrestler, who little did we know no one liked(name witheld but lets just say we became a big hit with the Chikara boys), says the words that will forever cement his place in pro-wrestling history "Hey guys let go get (Chris) Daniels", who was playing poker with AJ Styles and Samoa Joe. Hamrick and I were sitting down and Hamrick laughs and says "I'll get AJ" and I said "Well, I'm not getting Joe." and this kid goes "I'll get Joe". It was almost too good to be true. The words "I'LL GET JOE" rang through my head again as I looked at Hamrick, who met eyes with me like he wanted to kiss me but I knew better. This poor kid was going to be led to slaughter and he had no clue. Now should I feel bad? Heck yeah I should. I don't after Bryce told me what happened at Chikara, but needless to say I wasn't going to let this chance go by without seeing what would happen next. And whatever you think happened next did!!! Hamrick tells the kid that "we'll be right behind you" and "when I say go, you run full blast". Hamrick yells "go" and the kid takes off like he just stole someone's wallet. Me and Hamrick turned right back, sat down, and waited. In my mind there was no way I thought this kid was stupid to enough to 1: Believe us and B: To actually hit a crazy Samoan but he did. We heard what could have been two or three shots (and good ones at that!) and I just thought "Oh shit, this kid is dead" and boy was I right! Four seconds after the shots, here comes the kid followed by a 325 pound (I don't care what the ROH scale says, he is no 270) Samoa Joe and steam is coming out the sides of his head. He starts yelling and throwing around this kid as I look at Hamrick and say "Should we go get him?" and Hamrick, with a smile, says "Hell no." Hamrick is a smart guy. Then Joe drags this kid outside, followed by everyone in the hotel trying to stop Joe from butt raping (OK, killing is the better term) this kid. The kid somehow gets out "Corino and Hamrick, Corino and Hamrick" as Joe hits the words that will ring in Tracy Smothers mind forever "Corino and Hamrick going to save you now M-Fer" and at the end of the pile we looked at each other and said "No way" and walked back into the hotel! Boy that was fun. I felt bad that I helped ruin their poker games, which Chris Daniels told me that Joe was up about 8 pounds (I disagree. I saw him eat lunch and he had to be up around 12!), but it makes for a great Live Journal entry!

A few hours later we took the bus back to Manchester Airport where me and Hamrick had to fly to Philadelphia and then connect to Cleveland for the Cleveland All Pro show. But guess what airline we were on? Yep, if you are a long time reader of my site (and if you are not shame on you!) you will know that I hate USAirways as much as Homicide hates....well me. US Airways BLOWS. You read that you baggage losing, never on time, rude on the phone, bankrupt bitches. (sorry got hot again). They lost me and Hamricks bag to Cleveland and we ended up having no gear or no merchandise to sell. And their excuse "Oh we don't know where it is". How can this company stay in business? For six years they have lost my bags 15 times. Oh yeah, I have counted. When I was in ECW in 2000 they lost my bag 11 times. 11 F'n times. As I hold my crouch I say to you US Airways-I HATE YOUR AIRLINE! A-holes.

I got my bag back on Wednesday of the next week (all stinky of course because fat people sweat) just in time to wash and repack for my weekend in Milwaukee, WI and Valdosta, GA. Guess what airline I was on for Milwaukee? Yep, US Airways. This time I wouldn't hear of checking it in, I gate checked it. Meaning there was only a 98% chances of those butt humpers losing it. The bag got there this time but our flight was 7 hours late. Why 7 hours? Because fog shut down the airline. As I asked what the problem was the lady says "The fog is too thick and no airline is getting out", which was pretty amazing since I am looking out the window to see a NWA flight leaving the same time she said that. Nice.

Anyway I got to Milwaukee, 7 hours late thanks to the fog....I mean US Airways, I had a fun time. Brew City Wrestling promoter Frankie picked me up and took me to the hotel where I dropped my stuff off and me, him, and Dale Gagne went to dinner at Miller Park, home of the Brewers. Has anyone noticed that Dale Gagne and Scott D'Amore from TNA look like they were seperated at birth? Maybe its just me.

The Brew City show was a lot of fun. Everyone worked hard and they had an even better crowd. I worked Dinn T. Moore for the AWA World title and it was a real strong match. He had the crowd in his pocket, which always makes my job a little easier. Hopefully if I win the World title back I will be back there for a rematch.

Sunday (1/15) was a day I had been looking forward to since I was 9 years old. This was the night I was going to wrestle my hero Tully Blanchard one on one. I remember the first time I saw Tully wrestle was on the USA Network for Southwest Championship Wrestling and said to myself "This is what a bad guy is supposed to be". But what scared me about the match was that I wasn't nervous...well until about 25 minutes before the match when Tully told me that he was nervous and then I pretty much crapped myself until the match started. And I am sure many pro-wrestlers are too "cool" and don't want to sound like a "mark" but I actually said to myself as we locked up "Holy shit, I am locking up with Tully Blanchard". Does that make me a mark? Heck yeah it does and I am proud of it. The whole 15-20 minute match went by like it was me/Sandman vs. The Harris Boys from TNA a few years ago, but I had a blast. Tully, at 53 years old, still knows how to tell a story in there and didn't hold anything back. In fact he open-hand slapped me once during the match that made CW say "Nice slap, Otani!". There has to be a rematch coming....Please.

A few days later it was back home to Japan and ZERO1-MAX. As some people know I was off of Z1MAX for almost 9 months due to a Visa issue (I got caught wrestling with an expired Visa) and finally got it back. This tour was going to be special also for the fact that 4 time AWA World champion Nick Bockwinkel would be there to observe the AWA World title match between me and Shinjiro Otani. I was and still am a huge Bockwinkel fan. So much in fact I went out and bought a brand new suit for the tour!

I knew going in that the match was going to be tough match because Otani is always rough in a singles match and the fact that I didn't know how long my knee could handle the harder style. I'll admit there were times in the match where I really thought that my knee was going to just collapse but it made it through the match. I even told Cabana (who had a great tour) that I was done after the match. It hurt so bad that I really thought for a minute that my career was over. But luckily I am very pig-headed that I will not get the surgery until I can't walk. Is it stupid? Yes, very. But sometimes pro-wrestling can be an addiction of its own and getting out there and working, making a living for my family, and entertaining people mean more then the pain. I will learn to deal with the pain like I dealt with losing my hearing. It will just take time.

That is all for this edition. Next time I will put in my WORLD-1 thoughts from last weekend (which were fun) and some other things that I probably forgot about.

Till then, don't hit a TNA guy with a pillow.