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Wrestling jokes


nWoHulkster

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Преди малко попаднах на тема в чужд форум, така че реших да paste-на няколко нещица. Някои са доста забавни, други не толкова, но нека да има. Ако и вие знаете някакви вицове/смешки на wrestling темататика това е темата, където ще се постват.

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Triple H and Stephanie are walking their kid through a park in its buggy, Stephanie says to Hunter "Hunter will you push the baby?"

Hunter replies "No fucking way, he's too small, can't talk and can't work!"

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Did you hear about the time Sabu painted a fence?

It turns out he missed a spot...

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Growing tired of wrestling Triple H is looking to start a company building conservatories because apparently he's an expert in errecting glass ceilings.

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Hulk Hogan was sacked after only one day working in his local B&Q after the manager found out the only thing he could sell was a steel chair.

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You Watch WAY TOO MUCH Wrestling When:

On a job application, you state your residence as "parts unknown"

You do heel turns on your best friends for no reason

You get fired from work then show up the next day wearing a mask

You Stun your boss after you're fired.

You won't walk down the halls of school unless your entrance music is playing

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Why does Vince McMahon want to go to Heaven?

'Cause he's got no chance in Hell...

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Why did Kevin Nash cross the road?

He didn't, he tore his quad stepping off the curb.

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Why can't you find the Brock Lesnar toy in Toys R Us?

Because he sold out.

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If Scott Steiner became a religous leader, what would his name be?

Big Poppa Pope

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What is Rey Misterio's Favorite type of music?

West Coast Pop

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What does Stone Cold say to a woman with 2 black eyes?

Nothing, he already told her twice!

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Why couldn't Randy Orton go to Art School?

Because he can't draw!

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Our story begins at the Olympics, specifically the wrestling event. It is narrowed down to the Russian or the American for the gold medal.

Before the final match, the American wrestler's trainer came to him and said, "Now don't forget all the research we've done on this Russian. He's never lost a match because of this "pretzel" hold he has. Whatever you do, don't let him get you in this hold! If he does, you're finished!" The wrestler nodded in agreement.

Now, to the match: The American and the Russian circled each other several times looking for an opening. All of a sudden the Russian lunged forward, grabbing the American and wrapping him up in the dreaded pretzel hold!

A sigh of disappointment went up from the crowd, and the trainer buried his face in his hands for he knew all was lost. He couldn't watch the ending.

Suddenly there was a scream, a cheer from the crowd, and the trainer raised his eye just in time to see the Russian flying up in the air. The Russian's back hit the mat with a thud, and the American weakly collapsed on top of him, getting the pin and winning the match.

The trainer was astounded! When he finally got the American wrestler alone, he asks, "How did you ever get out of that hold? No one has ever done it before!"

The wrestler answered, "Well, I was ready to give up when he got me in that hold, but at the last moment, I opened my eyes and saw this pair of balls right in front of my face. I thought I had nothing to lose, so with my last ounce of strength I stretched out my neck and bit those babies just as hard as I could.

"So!" the trainer exclaimed, "that finished him off did it?"

"No, but you'd be amazed how strong you get when you bite your own balls!"

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Knock, Knock

Who's There?

It's Braden Walker and I'm gonna knock your brains out!

:D

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Why does Vince McMahon want to go to Heaven?

'Cause he's got no chance in Hell...

Why did Kevin Nash cross the road?

He didn't, he tore his quad stepping off the curb.

Тия двете са груби. :lol: :lol: :lol:

Айде и аз да прибавя някои:

Why is unemployment so high in the US?

Because Nunzio and Funaki do all the jobs.

What did CM Punk tell Adam Copeland when he tried to feel him up?

I'm straight, Edge.

What do you call any HHH match?

A buried alive match!

:lol:

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God is a huge wrestling fan and decides to invite 3 TNA wrestlers to heaven for a meal. So Samoa Joe, Christian Cage and AJ Styles arrive and God is sitting at a small table in a huge golden chair. God addresses them first.

"My children, there are 3 seats at this table beside me, one on my right, one on my left and one facing me. Where do you think you should be seated?"

AJ speaks first: "I'm AJ Styles, I am PHENOMENAL so I should be at your right-hand!"

God nods his head and says: "Be seated."

Christian follows the idea: "I'm Chrisitan Cage, I'm the Instant Classic! I should be at your left-hand!"

God nods and says: "Be seated."

Joe now steps forward, looks at AJ, then Chrisitan before staring at God and says: "You're in my seat!"

P.S. ^ Важи само за фенове на Joe. :P

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:lol:  Важат по-голямата част от вицовете. Давайте, който намери да поства. Мисля, че преди време имаше цяла тема с това "Разбирате, че сте прекалили с гледането на кеч, когато...", търсих я, но не я намерих, там май имаше доста примери лол.

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The new Chris Benoit tribute action figure is out in stores now. Sadly, it's not for young kids though. Choking hazard...

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Q. Why can't Finlay go to the gas station?

A. Because he always carries matches.

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Q. How many Vince McMahons does it take to screw a lightbulb?

A. None. The lightbulb screwed the lightbulb!

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